I had no idea what Rheumatoid Arthritis was when my doctor gave me the diagnosis. Even as he explained the disease, the gravity didn’t quite sink in. My symptoms had already been aggressively showing themselves over the past several months, so the disease itself was already a reality but now it had words attached to it.

It all started with my right wrist.

At the time I was an account manager for an electrical wholesaler. It was my job to travel around Northern Alberta and visit customers like Sawmills, Pulp Mills, Oil Sites, and other industrial locations. Our company provided them with services and products such as explosion proof lighting, automation solutions, buttons and controls, programmable logic controllers (PLC’s), and motor control centres (MCC’s) so it involved a lot of travelling and touring around facilities; often with another representative or specialist.

In the year prior I had been given a new sales territory. It incorporated the Lloydminster Alberta Area and extended north to Cold Lake and south to Camrose; everything in between. I spent most of my time in the Lloydminster and Bonnyville Regions because my company had a branch there.

I remember that I had been doing some yard work at home and believed I must have lightly sprained my right wrist. I decided to take some Tylenol to manage the pain and took off to Lloydminster for a few days for work; I’d be staying in a hotel and I was sure I’d heal by the time it was time to return home.

The first day was pretty normal; felt like I had a sprained wrist so I wrapped it and tried not to use it very much, but by that evening it had turned into a dull throb.

When I woke up the next day, my left wrist was also feeling sprained. I could barely get myself dressed. My right wrist felt like someone had just hit it with a hammer and my left wrist felt sprained. I started for home that evening.

The following day; both wrists felt like I had hit them hard. I couldn’t open or close my hands and my fingers were puffed up like sausages. The pain had also navigated its way into my shoulders.

By the end of the week, the feeling was in both wrists, both shoulders, both hips, knees, ankles, hips, and down my spine. My temperature began to fluctuate; cold chills and hot flashes in rotation.

Luckily, I had been in contact with my family doctor and he immediately sent me for bloodwork, noting a lot of swelling in my joints.

By the time the bloodwork came back a day or two later, I was unable to leave the couch. I just laid there writhing in pain trying not to cry. I couldn’t hold anything like a phone or remote; not like I could really focus long enough anyway.

The phone call came in and my doctor explained to me that my Rheumatoid Factor was incredibly high and I needed immediate medical attention. He placed me on a set of painkiller prescriptions while he put me in touch with a Rheumatologist.

I left my position as account manager so I could be closer to home and focus on getting to healthcare appointments. I began working as a Commercial Project Sales Manager with another local Electrical Wholesaler.

I met with my Rheumatologist and received my diagnosis on October 18th, 2019. He sent me for a myriad of other tests. He explained that Rheumatoid Arthritis is an autoimmune disease; it’s an overactive immune system that fights not just the bad cells but also the good. It would slowly attack my joints and organs. He also showed me images of the disfigured toes and fingers that people often experience if the disease goes untreated. Oddly enough, the images made sense in my head of what was happening to me.

My condition felt as if all of my joints were trying to slowly bend sideways or backwards; I liken it to “boneitis” for anyone who has seen that Futurama Episode. If I tried to open my hands, it felt as if there were elastic bands holding them closed; the knuckles in my feet felt like they were large marbles.

The biggest thing going through my head; this is forever and I’d never get to hold my son. Oh, I didn’t mention that my wife was 5 months pregnant at the time I got diagnosed?

My poor wife having to watch her husband wriggle in pain on the couch, not being able to do anything to help, herself having a rough pregnancy and me being too laid up to give her the attention she deserved. My step daughter, having to watch her step father crying in pain; moaning in agony.

I still drift off in thought whenever I remember these times. It was probably the most stressful situation I’ve been in to date and I’ve had a few. It is the closest I have ever been to suicide and that’s even including all of my drinking years but that’s a story for another time.

My rheumatologist put me on Methotrexate and Plaquenil (Hydroxychloroquine) to manage the condition. I was to be injecting myself with a needle in the stomach once per week with Methotrexate; a chemical used in larger doses for Chemotherapy and Abortions.

My pharmacist; an amazing woman to me, helped teach me how to inject myself by pinching a fatty area on my stomach and injecting myself subcutaneously. Thank God for her because I was scared; I had never had to deal with so many medical things at once and injecting myself with a fluorescent yellow radioactive substance was not my idea of a good time.

I began my regiment.

The methotrexate would result in me feeling as if I had the flu for about 13-24 hours following the injection. I took some vitamins to try and alleviate the nausea so I could focus a bit more. Over the next few months, I tried to learn a routine. I’d take my needle on a weekend so I wouldn’t be affected as much at work, I’d eat certain things with lots of vitamins to try and help but the gross feeling was getting too much to handle.

We swapped my meds; we kept the methotrexate injections but replaced the hydroxychloroquine with leflunomide. It helped and I’ve been on the same regiment ever since.

While my condition was beginning to improve, the rest of life was happening. I had taken in an abused German shepherd to rehabilitate but he was too aggressive to have around a baby. I had to rehome him. He was my sobriety buddy and it was incredibly hard emotionally for me. I still have issues in regards to it.

On January 31, 2020 my grandmother was admitted to hospital with cancer. She passed away February 6th, 2020 with me and my uncle by her side.

On February 10, 2020 my son was born in the same hospital; three floors up.

By the end of February, the Covid-19 Pandemic had reached Alberta. Lockdowns began.

During all of the excitement I had begun to feel a little better and was focusing pretty heavily on getting my affairs in order so we could bring my son into the world. I lapsed in learning more about my condition. It was improving and I was feeling a lot better, so what more would I need to know?

The autoimmune portion was what I had missed.

When speaking with my doctor about what to do about the pandemic he reminded me that my condition was a very serious autoimmune disease. My knuckles and joints were just a physical symptom but I have a very real invisible disease that leaves me susceptible to infections and limits my treatment options. With his guidance, I decided to leave the sales industry, stop my social volunteering, in search of something more isolated. I couldn’t risk getting the virus; I was compromised.

Funny, because I had actually begun to feel better and was managing my illness with medications and had begun to exercise. In fact, since my sobriety date of September 21, 2018 I had lost roughly 25 lbs through exercise and better lifestyle choices.

My father; my savior, offered me a position working with him at his thermodynamics consulting company. I could learn metalwork, design, drawings, and stay away from the general public. For me it was great. I got to spend time with my family, I got to go for long walks on the family farm, and I learned all kinds of new skills.

I was still “flaring” on occasion and they were becoming more and more frequent; close to two or three days a week. My whole body would be in shooting pain; just like my RA had come back. Again, I was sent for all kinds of lab work but all of it came back normal. My condition was managed according to their tests so my symptoms were a result of something else.

In February 2021, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My rheumatologist told me that there was nothing he could do for me any further and handed me a piece of paper with a helpline number on it. I then spoke with my family doctor and he explained the condition. He said, “there is nothing we can do to help aside from prescribing anti-anxiety medication but we try to use those only as a last resort. This condition does not respond to medication or pain killers. Right now, the best thing you can do is eat healthy, exercise to get in shape, and work on creating a sleep regiment.”

So that’s exactly what I began doing; after having another complete emotional breakdown of course.

This is by no means every last detail of my journey and it continues every day. Honestly a lot of it was an emotional blur. During my diagnosis I was only a year sober, emotional as hell, had a pregnant wife, had family with illnesses, and a life going on. I was trying to hold it all together.

Today my condition is managed and my symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis are minimal. I’m very lucky to be where I am right now; others are not so lucky or take years to receive a diagnosis. My heart goes out to all of those dealing with a chronic illness or disease.

Obviously, I have also touched on a few other topics I could write about in future blogs but I was trying to stay focused. If you’d like to hear more about anything in particular, please send me an email letting me know. What I’m hoping for is to use this as a tool to learn more about myself; perhaps others can use my experiences to learn from as well.

Thank you for reading my first blog entry. I also want to thank everyone who has been a support to me along the way. I could never have gotten this far alone.

Stay tuned for more and thanks again for being a part of my path in life.