– If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The Second Law of Holes

– When you stop digging, you are still in a hole.

 To me, Fear is a Hole and it’s a funny thing. We all understand how it feels to be fearful, the rush of anxiety and adrenaline, the shaky hands the “fight or flight” response, the moment that stands still. It is something we can all identify with greatly. Most of our thoughts and experiences have been formed by it. Our behaviors have developed around it and ways to control its effects on us.

The things that we are fearful of however, are different depending upon who you ask.

When I use the word FEAR, what do you think about? Perhaps you are the kind of person that remembers the common acronym Fuck Everything And Run. Maybe you think of a specific image or experience in your past that scared you to the bone. Perhaps you suffer from a real phobia, something unexplainably terrifying that seems irrational to others.

Well, like everyone else, I have fears too.

I know right? SHOCKING!

Who would have thought that grave digger and long-time paranormal investigator, known for running INTO the dark and commonly found in places that most would consider frightening and EXTREMELY uncomfortable, would be fearful?

Well, most of you that do know me in real life shouldn’t be shocked. I share my feelings quite a bit and I talk about my fears often in person but to you out there in “internet land”, you might not know me so well.

So, yes I do have some irrational fears and some emotionally-earned ones as well. I’ll share them with you if you’d like.

Here is the story of one of my greatest fears.

Automatonophobia and The Uncanny Valley:

“In aesthetics, the uncanny valley (Japanese: 不気味の谷, Hepburn: bukimi no tani) is a hypothesized relation between an object’s degree of resemblance to a human being and the emotional response to the object. The concept suggests that humanoid objects that imperfectly resemble actual human beings provoke uncanny or strangely familiar feelings of uneasiness and revulsion in observers. “Valley” denotes a dip in the human observer’s affinity for the replica, a relation that otherwise increases with the replica’s human likeness.

Examples of the phenomenon exist among robotics, 3D computer animations and lifelike dolls… The uncanny valley hypothesis predicts that an entity appearing almost human will risk eliciting cold, eerie feelings in viewers.” – Wikepedia

So, this fear is an interesting one for me and you wouldn’t think that it would play such a big part in my life. Until you learn about my past a little.

When I think about this fear, the first thing that came to mind was when my family and I went to the Royal Tyrell Museum in Drumheller, Alberta. It is a museum dedicated to fossils and dinosaurs. There were several animatronic displays back then, as there are even more now, and I remember being so petrified (pun intended) that I literally was unable to move. I still remember crying and the extreme fear they caused me.

The second thing would be the animatronic mice at Chuck-E-Cheese where we celebrated my birthday when I was a child. I still remember them to this day. I would have to be carried past them by an adult so I could get to the ball pit and play areas. Even then, I would be captivated viewing them in the distance and stare fearfully at them should I capture a glimpse in my peripherals.

Now… the third one. This is one that most people would never come across in their lifetime. This leads me to believe that there might have been an accidental “core memory” formed here. My father is an expert in thermodynamics. When I say expert, I mean THE expert.

He literally wrote the code when it comes to heat loss through basements for Canada; saving the country billions every year. He worked on projects such as the Nanook Solar Car now on display at The Royal Museum (LINK HERE), many Net Zero Houses, Clean Snowmobile Challenges, Robotics Competitions, Forest Fire Data Acquisition Equipment and Fire Detection Equipment, Fire Resistant Building Materials and Textiles, Emergency Fire Shelter Design With the US Forestry Service and NASA (LINK HERE), and Developed THE system for testing Fire Resistant Clothing and PPE.

If you watched the end of that video, you and I both just understood where I might have accidentally picked that little core memory and fear up, eh?

Welcome to “take your kid to work day!” Meet Harry.

I used to be TERRIFIED of Harry! There were several renditions of Harry over the years too. While my father developed the systems and built the mannequins in our garage a.k.a. “The Shop”, we had mannequins stored in every corner. Eventually the family grew in to Men, Women, Children, no dogs or pets thank God!

As I grew up, my father would give me age-appropriate jobs and now; having had the opportunity to work with him on personal and professional projects for my entire lifetime, I have a great appreciation for all that he does. It’s amazing! He is also where I got my work ethic from and my drive to help others in my community. He is the president of the Colchester Community League after all. (LINK HERE)

It sure doesn’t stop my fear from irrationally flaring for a brief second every now and then though. You’d be surprised at how often it comes up in my life. I have learned through all of my experiences (please read my other blogs) ways to address my challenges in a healthy way. Of course, I am fine with my situation now because I understand what’s happening. I get a twinge every now and then when something catches me off guard, but that’s about the worst of it and it’s probably a completely normal reaction too given the circumstances and environments I subject myself to. Lets be honest, I do get myself into an odd situation from time to time.

I actually have a great appreciation for mechanics and robotics; animatronics specifically, and it’s probably where my love of The Muppets and Halloween Decorations stemmed from. Animatronics are a mixture of Art and Science, two worlds colliding.

I think my dad’s job is the coolest thing ever and he has worked so hard to get where he is. I am even lucky enough to get to work with him once in a while when he needs an extra hand. I actually called him before I posted this blog to make sure he was ok with me talking about him publicly and he brought up a very interesting part of the story that I had missed.

Harry has over 106 sensors in/on him to detect the heat and burn patters. Wherever there is a sensor, there used to be a white sticker so that they were more visible and easier to identify against his black surface. I was never afraid of Harry when he had the white stickers all over him, only when they were removed. He became a “shadow man” to me without them. I even remember that I used to LOVE playing with those stickers! Amazing how I learned even more about myself just by writing this. Anyway…

There you have it, there’s my own personal “uncanny valley” threshold.

Another thing that stemmed from my time with dad at work was the first time and I saw a real human skull. It was for an experiment and was set up in a classroom in the Mechanical Engineering Building at the University of Alberta. It’s funny how things come around later in life as I now have four human skulls in my oddities collection.

I also have several mannequins in storage, though mine live quite a different life than those of my forefather’s. My mannequins are reserved for frightening children only on Halloween and special occasions, and I do it completely intentionally.

As always, thank you for reading and for your continued support. If you have ideas for future blogs or questions, get a hold of me! I don’t think that I’m as scary as I sound.